I’ve been addicted to Facebook since I first received an invite at my college ufl.edu email address. Since 2005, I’ve been checking a website for updates on my family and friends. Instead of sending an email or actually picking up a phone or stopping by someone’s home, I clicked “like” on their new baby’s picture. I “liked” pictures of weddings and vacation and perfectly executed Pinterest creations while my “friends” number soared to over 900 people. Nine hundred people who I was trying to keep in touch and interact with while I managed to lose myself.
I lost myself while reading perfect mothers boast about their perfect family’s life while running a triathlon and winning the mayoral race and here I was struggling to get my laundry done and keep the house picked up. How do these people do it? Am I doing something wrong? Balance is an important part of a healthy life and I had simply lost my balance and began questioning my worth. It’s ridiculous because I know we are all doing the best we can in this life.
I realized Facebook wasn’t healthy for me when I rolled over to my iPhone at 3am this morning when insomnia struck and scrolled through Facebook. I didn’t get a warm & fuzzy feeling while reading it but instead got hit with a pang of anxiety. If Facebook was a boyfriend, I would have broken up with him 6 months ago with the old “It’s not you, it’s me” line. Today, I broke up with Facebook in the passenger seat while we drove to my in-laws.
It’s true, it’s not Facebook’s fault. Facebook has been a great tool to get in touch with family and college roommates whom I probably wouldn’t have been able to find otherwise. I’m going to make an effort to still keep in touch with those I love. I’m going to FaceTime, call, text, maybe send an old-fashioned card in the mail. Facebook is a great place for people who can control their urges and log in every couple of days. I’m not that person, I have an addictive personality when it comes to certain things like Facebook so I know it’s my time to take a break. I’m not sure if the deactivation will be for a month or more permanent. Maybe someday Facebook and I will be just like Gotye’s song “Somebody That I Used to Know.” I’m looking forward to 2014 and seeing my friends and family in an entirely new, Facebook-free light.
Cheers to a happy New Year!