Potty Training. Gross.

Image 500x500 Potty Training. Gross.

We are in knee deep in potty training and when I say knee deep, I mean KNEE DEEP in poop.

Experienced mothers, is there some unwritten code that you don’t tell less-experienced mothers how dirty potty training can really get? I don’t recall anyone giving me the dirty truth about potty training: there’s going to be crap all over your house.

Every time I turn around, there’s a new crap-tastrophe. Just yesterday, Jackson proudly called me over to the toilet to show me “the brown one.” He failed to mention he hadn’t made it to the potty in time, so instead of a simple turd in the toilet, he had painted his legs with poop. Which somehow got all over the tile/walls/toilet.

Think of a stamp in the shape of a toddler butt, with stinky brown “ink.” Fantastic. This is NOT the first time we have done this either, he has taken the show on the road. A stamping tour of our home’s bathrooms, if you will.

After cleaning up his legs and convincing him that *I* had to wipe his butt, we somehow managed to clog the toilet with his flushable wipes. Go figure that the first person to clog a toilet in our new home (that we have lived in for over a year now) would be a not-quite-potty trained toddler who didn’t even legitimately go on the potty. I think he should be an asterisk next to his name in the record books for that.

Anyhow, that is how our potty training is progressing. It’s dirty, messy and stinky. There will also be several Cars-printed tighty whitey casualties too because I’m sure as hell not scraping poop off those babies in order to wash the gigantic skid mark off. Not going to happen.

Moms? Hold me and tell me it is going to be ok. I beg of you, please.

Comments

  1. says

    I’m sorry, I honestly don’t mean to laugh, but this post cracked me up! Don’t worry- it’s all a phase and then you’ll someday forget. That’s probably why no other mom told you about it… because they already let it remove itself from their minds. LOL. We had a couple of sh*tty situations-a couple drop-loads into the kitchen after ripping a diaper off. I think we had a down-the-legs a few times, too. I don’t even remember it clearly anymore, so it means you’ll forget soon, too! Hang in there!!
    Jen recently wrote True Holiday Spirit #withspirit #CGC #sponMy Profile

  2. says

    One day it will click. I didn’t think it ever would for my daughter, then suddenly all her pee got in the toilet, but poop was still in a pullup. Then one day, after months of poop in pullups, I bought her a king size snack bag of m&ms. Told her she could eat the whole bag as soon as she put poop in the potty. It took her 3 days to get her bag, and a couple weeks of a small handful of m&ms whenever she went, but she got it. 18 months after we started, and a year after her sister was born.
    Erin recently wrote 2013 ResolutionsMy Profile

  3. says

    This is why I don’t understand why toddler undies have to be so expensive. Seriously. There’s a good chance they are going to be thrown away anyways!
    Alena recently wrote 2013: LiveMy Profile

  4. says

    I’m sure you are extremely frustrated and probably a little disgusted, but this was ridiculously funny! He’ll be potty trained before you know it and you’ll miss the butt stamps on your wall! Ok, maybe not but at least you’ll be able to laugh about it!
    Carrie recently wrote Top 5 Saturday Laughs: 1-5-2013My Profile

    • Beth says

      I don’t have any magical advice. As you know I waited until Charlotte begged us to wear the princess undies and be a “big kid.” The few times we tried before that I never made it past day one. If there were brown butt stamps on my walls I would have given up immediately so you are a model of patience and understanding my friend. :). What I really wanted to comment about was the flushable wipes. Don’t flush them, even the ones that are “flushable.” They are not and there will come a time when you have to pay a big bill from the plumber because of them. I throw them in the diaper genie so they don’t stink up the bathroom trash, etc.

  5. Val Jacks says

    I am so sorry but this is the funniest thing I have read all day. As mentioned above, I don’t think we experienced mothers forget to pass it along…I think we block it from our minds. I have potty trained 4 children and as I read this I recalled memories long forgotten about that time. The only advantage I had was that I did no underwear and my potty chair was in the living room. Nothing like using the potty chair while watching the wiggles and blues clues!

  6. Stephanie says

    Hang in there Joanna! It will get better! Pat and I were just talking potty training for Annabel (not for a few more months) and we remember it being a bit trying with the other two, but don’t really even remember the specifics anymore – you might never fully forget poop on your bathroom walls, but it will seem vague before you know it :) At least he is going…seriously, Madi had trouble with constipation for about year after potty training and that was no fun either. Keep at it (and definitely throw that underwear out – I did!!) and it will work itself out in time. And try to keep laughing too, it helps….so does a cleaning lady :)