Last night, my husband went to the movies with some friends to see Ted. A theater full of people did the same thing in Aurora, Colorado to see the midnight showing of the new Batman movie, “The Dark Knight Rises.” My husband came home about 10pm, kissed our sleeping children and went to bed. So many in Colorado were robbed of that privilege when a heavily armed gunman threw tear gas in the theater and then opened fire. As of now, 12 people died and 38 were wounded, including a 3 month old baby.
I learned of the massacre when my baby woke up at 4:30 am to eat. In a sleepy daze, I nursed my sweet girl and checked Twitter on my iPhone. Usually I just see tweets from those in other time zones and moms with little babies, but I wanted to throw up when I saw the breaking news of the shooting. My first thought was WHAT THE HELL, AMERICA?! People can’t even enjoy a movie without fear of some crazy guy shooting the place up and stealing their lives?
Then when I woke up for the day I saw this tweet from my friend Chrystal:
As a parent, a whole new world of worry engulfs your world. I’ve learned in my short 2.5 years of parenting that the worry never goes away, it just evolves. The first week of my son’s life I cried to my mother about my fears and she said something to me that I will never forget: “no one ever tells you how much you worry as a parent and that it NEVER goes away.”
My heart aches for the victims and their families today. The parents who lost their children, the children who lost their parents, and the parents who got the horrific news that their son is a mass murderer. I can’t begin to imagine the pain. I don’t know what to do except hold my children extra tight today and say a prayer for all those affected by this horrendous act of violence. This world scares me sometimes.