Winter is tough on our house. My kids pick up everyone and their dog’s germs and never seem to be 100% healthy until April. My husband generally stays pretty healthy, but when he gets hit- he gets hit hard. By hard, I mean he gets afflicted with the “man cold.” The man cold is the same cold that the entire family has dealt with (and surviving just fine) for the entire winter, but when it manifests itself in a man the results are devastating.  Man cold victims in our house have to live in the guest room for days at a time while being waited on hand and foot. Sometimes, the man’s mother needs to be called in for reinforcements of coddling and homemade soup.

Until I had a three-year-old son, I didn’t know there are variations of the man cold. This week, I learned firsthand about the dreaded “mini-man cold.” The mini-man cold presents itself as a full blow man cold in a pint-sized, toddler body. Symptoms are exasperated by three-year-old’s intolerance for everything and a general threenager attitude. Orders are barked by a raspy voice and nothing is good enough. Ever. Some orders that have been yelled by my tiny tyrant in the past 4 days are:

• I need chocolate milk and an iPad NOW. NOW! Now Mama!
• I need medicine. No I don’t want medicine. NO!
• Carry me to bed. I can’t walk. DON’T TOUCH ME!
• Don’t look at me Sidney!
• Don’t wear your hair up Mom. I don’t like it! (seriously, what?!)
• I’m hungry. I don’t want to eat. NO!

The level of whining had reached such epic proportions that I had to take him to our pediatrician. I figured this amount of threenager angst had to be caused by a terrible ear infection or something major. I took both kids to the doctor yesterday morning and it turns out Jackson’s ears are *perfectly* clear and he is simply suffering from a mini-man cold (my terminology, not our pediatricians). Sidney on the other hand (who hasn’t complained at all) can barely breathe through her croup and wheezing.

Our concerned doctor have her a prescription for steroids to decrease her airway swelling with orders to keep a close eye on her breathing. I’ve been down this road before with Sidney’s wheezing so I’m not  terribly alarmed but am proceeding with caution while learning to pay more attention to my less-dramatic child. So while Sidney is getting oral steroids and breathing treatments, Jackson will be shouting from the rooftops about his mini-man cold.

Please send coffee.